Today I had to go to the Post Office before noon to mail our rent check. It’s about a block and a half away. Around 11 I looked outside and saw that it was sunny, and decided to go in the shorts and t-shirt that I was wearing around the house. It was about forty degrees out. I figured it wasn’t that long of a walk and soldiered on. About halfway there I walked past a homeless guy,...
To Be Young Again
My roommates and I play on an intramural flag football team. Last night was our first game. Between myself and my four roommates who played last night, we sustained two sprained ankles, a sprained elbow, a tweaked knee and a badly jammed finger. That doesn’t even include my other roommate who couldn’t play because he dislocated his finger during our practice on Monday. Getting old...
This morning I did that thing where you wake up for 5-10 minutes then fall back asleep for 10 minutes and you always have the most vivid, realistic dreams. During the last, I dreamed that I got an email to attend a 100-person Justin Timberlake concert for $5, and all I had to do was respond to the email by noon. I woke up, saw the clock said 9:43 (another example of how awesome 2L is, by the...
I’m used to women acting like women. I’m sorry, I didn’t know...– Bill Simmons. Really looking forward to the blow back on this one.
Here's a Tip
If you’re an hour late to a class that’s only an hour and twenty minutes long, don’t come.
All Packers Hate Brett Favre →
I know the only purpose of this article is to generate more buzz for the game on Sunday, but I love that everyone associated with the Packers despises Brett Favre now. “Mark Chmura, a tight end on the ‘96 team, said he went through the rosters position by position and could not find an advantage for the Vikings. ‘And it all starts with Brett — Brett’s not as good as...
Med Mal Tort Reform →
Pretty standard article on medical malpractice and how it isn’t nearly as expensive or widespread as newspapers and Congressmen would have you believe. The main reason for my link, and my favorite part of the article: “The H1N1 strain of influenza is no more lethal than any other strain of flu. Mortality is less than 1 percent.” SHUT UP ABOUT SWINE FLU, IT’S NOT THAT...
Oh, Law Students, Continued
Tonight I played a few games of Catchphrase with fellow law students from my a capella group. Here are a couple of the clues one of them gave: Answer: Mermaid. Clue he gave: “One of these seduced Harry Potter in the bathroom in the fourth book.” Answer: Prune. Clue he gave: “This is a laxative. It is a fruit.”
Levels of Dating, 2009
From least to most serious. Talking - Frequent flirtatious communication by any medium. However, no significant alone time and no physical intimacy. Hooking up - Physical intimacy (usually banging) that, more often that not, happens while drunk. Rare sober hookups that tend towards awkward and make you remember why you don’t and shouldn’t talk until just before last call. Hanging...
I’ve got my third-degree black belt and I’ve gotten several women pregnant, so...– Tracy Morgan
Steakhouse or Gay Bar? →
thejerkstore: This will keep you entertained for approximately 150 seconds.
Ethan Dulles (Jason Schwartzman) - Ethan’s...
Hey, guy-between-the-ages-of-22-and-28-who-wears-a-hat-all-the-time. You’re not fooling anyone.
Mom: Did you really sit behind Justin Timberlake at the game?
Me: Haha no, we were just making fun of him because he was wearing a really ugly fedora.
Mom: But I thought I taught you not to make fun of people.
My kids will not be football players →
Brits have terrible taste in music →
Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Craig David, but NUMBER 2?! The SECOND BEST ALBUM OF ALL TIME?! I’m Usher’s biggest (straight male) fan and 8701 is a thoroughly enjoyable album, but 19?! Two Oasis albums in the Top 10?! The guys at Pitchfork would nuke London if they read this. The Brits’ taste in music is about equivalent to their oral hygiene.
LeBron has the Swine →
No one is safe.
I Love Law School
My next two weeks: 6 day vacation, 1 day of school, 4 day weekend.
I saw my Oklahoman friend at the gym this morning and he was wearing a Harley Davidson bandana.
Me: Sweet bandana.
Friend: Thanks man.
Me: I heard about the American Flag one you wear too.
Friend: I like it a lot, but the colors are starting to bleed.
Me: I thought those colors didn't bleed?
Friend: They bleed, they don't run. Big difference.
John Legend - Sun Comes Up (Live)
Then she put her shoes in with the cardboard
Me: Did you ever find your glasses?
Friend: I recycled them. In a HUGE recycling bin.
Me: Well, at least you were being environmentally conscious.
Friend: Seriously, what was I thinking? Of all places to put my glasses, I took them off in the kitchen and recycled them.
Ah, college towns.
Yesterday three of my roommates went to Home Depot to pick up supplies for a three story beer bong. They walk in the door together and one of the employees points at them and says “You guys need a beer bong, right? Come with me.”
I like this way too much.
The worst kind of college football fan
thejerkstore: Anyone who refers to a team as “we” if they didn’t even attend the school they are “we-ing”.
I See What You Did There →
Ghetto Daycare Centers →
A Little Taste of How Terrible Law School Is
Transcript from my chat with the "Live Help" guy from LexisNexis:
Me: Hi, I need help finding California Proposition 218.
Agent (RandyK) has joined your session.
Me: Hey Randy
RandyK: Was it successfully implemented into a law?
Me: Yes, it was. If wikipedia is right...
RandyK: Ok. Please hold for a moment while I formulate a search.
RandyK: using Source: Legal > States Legal - U.S. > California > Find Statutes, Regulations, Administrative Materials & Court Rules > CA Bill Tracking & Full-Text Bills, Combined
RandyK: and running a terms and connectors search with the Terms: proposition or referendum or amendment pre/2 218
RandyK: gets us 8 hits
RandyK: Omnibus Implementation Act?
RandyK: Looks like interesting hits after hit 3
Me: I honestly don't know what it's about. All I have is the cite and I have to find the source. I hate being on a journal.
Me: The full cite that I have is: Proposition 218, passed in California in 1996.
RandyK: we do not have a list of the propositions, from hit 3 discusses Prop 218, and what the legislature is doing about by now amended Section 53753 of the Government Code.
RandyK: using Source: Legal > States Legal - U.S. > California > Search Law Reviews & Journals > California Law Reviews, Combined
RandyK: and Terms: proposition or referendum or amendment pre/2 218
RandyK: gets us 20
RandyK: Looks like Prop 218 was implemented as Cal. Const. art. XIII D, 4, 6.
RandyK: hit 2 of the 20 discusses Prop 218
Me: You're a genius randy
Me: Thanks for the help, I can take it from here
Why aren’t raspberries called redberries?
It’s part art and part science. I know the angles of my body: if my knee...– Tyra Banks, on modeling. Fuck Einstein. THAT should be the Theory of Relativity. I wonder many hours of experimentation and study it took her to figure that out.
There are very few things that are more entertaining that watching a person’s head nod back and forth as they fall asleep in class.
Pretty Sure He Was Talking About Pizza
Roommate 1: I just want some cheese and some crust in my mouth.
Roommate 2: Well then you shouldn't have left the bar without Kristina.
All the proceeds will go to Work it Out, which is a charity to help fund...– Some guy on the news who apparently is pro-fat kid
Sad. (and a little funny too.)
Friend: I think I must be an awful kisser.
Friend: [Very-long-term boyfriend] and I haven't made out for the last two and a half years of the three we've been together.
I just added “Facebook” to Word’s custom dictionary because I’ve written it enough times in the outline for my note that the red squigglies were driving me crazy. I wouldn’t have predicted that I’d be spending hours writing about Facebook when I started law school.
Roommate's Girlfriend: How would you have felt if that was your boyfriend?
Me: Well, I'd probably have been confused as to why I had a boyfriend.