July 2009
23 posts
Highlights from Driving in NYC
The plainclothes officer not giving me a Reckless Driving ticket.
Another police officer not giving me a ticket for parking illegally. Got back to the car just as he was getting out his ticket book. He was also a very nice officer. Two great experiences with the NYPD yesterday.
Narrowly avoiding getting sideswiped while merging off of the Williamsburg Bridge and cutting back through traffic...
Law School = No Practical Skills
I’m in Brooklyn today helping my older brother pack and get ready to move to Hell’s Kitchen tomorrow. We were driving up Grand St (a long main road with tons of lights), sitting in traffic, and my brother tells me to pull over the yellow line into the oncoming lane and turn left at the light 50 yards ahead. I’m an idiot, so I listen to him.
I turn the corner and see a black...
Odds This is Intentional? →
Whether it’s intentional or unintentional, it’s hilarious.
“Now that Brett Favre is staying retired, watch the Vikings pick up Michael Vick....”
– mookiewilson86
I left the gym seven hours ago and just now stopped feeling like I want to throw up. I blame the humidity.
Childhood Dreams Ruined
Today I went to the gym to shoot around and lift a bit. As I was shooting, a guy named Bryce came up to me and asked if I wanted to do some shooting drills with him. Now, I’ve played pickup with Bryce a number of times both this summer and last, and he’s good. Really good. He plays pro ball in Argentina. He’s about 6’5”, 240. He usually goes about half-speed and...
Free Advice for Women
Ladies, if you’re shopping in a clothing store and being helped by a straight male who works there, here’s some advice: do not try on or hold up an article of clothing and ask any version of “Does this look good?/Do you like this?”
Any straight male worth his salt will lie to your face and tell you it looks great. If you want an honest answer, ask him to compare two items...
Andrew: People always think I'm dumb. The fucking wine shop girl assumed I was going to John Marshall for law school, and when I said where I was going [Penn], she asked if it was an online school.
Me: I think she's the dumb one.
The Internet is Usually Right →
Entitled Government Workers →
I was driving home from work today and listening to NPR. I heard the above-linked story regarding California’s budget crisis and forced furlough days for state workers. California state employees are now required to take three fridays a month off without pay. The woman to whom NPR spoke and her husband are both government employees, and as such, have seen their household income decrease...
Uncomfortable
35 y.o. Manager: This guy was totally staring at my chest earlier. It was weird. I was used to it when I was younger and hot but now that I'm older and got chubby it never happens anymore.
Me: Oh.
35 y.o. Manager: I used to have a great figure and guys checked me out all the time. I was sort of a butterface.
Me: (walks away)
“ROGER GOODELL:You wanna play football again? MICHAEL VICK:Yep. GOODELL:You gonna...”
– mookiewilson86
Great Article on Prof. Gates' Arrest →
Easily the most well-reasoned and thoughtful analysis of Professor Gates’ arrest that I’ve seen. I don’t even have anything to add.
Freshman Year Memories
I convinced my roommate freshman year to use a guaranteed, never-fail line on a girl who lived in our dorm. He invited her over for a movie one night and I made myself scarce. The following ensued.
Justin: So...good movie, huh?
Ali: Yeah, it's fine.
Justin: What would you do if I took my dick out right now?
Ali: Uh...seriously? I'd leave.
Justin: Oh. Ok. Just wondering.
Epilogue: They sat through the rest of the movie in silence and Ali left. He never even took it out. Poor kid.
This is not Legal Advice
I am not an attorney and this not legal advice. However, you pick some things up working in a courthouse. Here are some general tips to make your life easier if you get involved with the justice system. Again, this is not legal advice and you are solely responsible for the consequences stemming from any action or inaction based upon what you read.
Show up to your court dates.
Don’t get...
Retail Stupidity
Customer: Do you work here?
Me: Nope, I just like to wear a tie to the mall and fold womens' clothing in JCrew on saturday nights. Sorry.
Real World: High School
I was flipping through channels last night and stopped on a commercial for Real World. First of all, MTV needs to recut their commercials. There’s no reason to sit down and watch an entire episode of a show if the conflict is exposed in the commercial. When that happens, you’re only going to watch the show if that particular conflict is of a subject that interests you. Being that...
Internships Suck
The guy I interviewed today tried to run over his last public defender with his car. I need to find a new job to do for free.
