Some people find me arrogant. I understand that some people might be...– My New Professor
Remember a couple days ago when I said Joining a law journal is unequivocally the worst decision I’ve ever made. Well, that was before I spent 10 hours doing (and finishing) the wrong citechecking assignment. Now I have to spend ~10 more hours doing the right citechecking assignment.
There's Something Wrong With Me
I just saw an otherwise cute girl walk by and thought “she swings her arm too much when she walks.”
will I do something just for the resume boost. Joining a law journal is unequivocally the worst decision I’ve ever made.
Things I Need To Get Now That I Live More Than 100...
I Hate Law School
I’m sitting in orientation for the journal that I’m on and there’s a woman from the library giving us a talk. Choice quotes include: “Don’t forget to show your ID to get in.” “There’s no food allowed in the library.” “Keep your voices down.” I fucking shit you not, she’s talking to a room full of 2Ls who have spent an...
Pattern recognition and memorization is key. If you do not know the next pattern...– Robert Mruczek, King of Kong
My Cell Phone is Acting Up
Twice in the last few days I’ve answered my cell phone and someone other than the person who was on my caller ID was talking on the other end. When I do get a hold of the person who called, they say they also got connected to a different person. Is this happening to a lot of people?
It's Amazing How Dumb Smart People Are
I’m sitting in a presentation put on by our Career Services Office on how to navigate the interviewing process. The woman said that you should be sure to acknowledge phone calls that you receive with a return phone call, obviously meaning that you should return calls if you miss them and the person leaves a voicemail. Right after she said this, a hand belonging to a law review member went...
You’re the kind of guy who makes me afraid of all mankind. I’m not...– Drunk friend
Want proof of how fair and evenhanded our justice system is? Plaxico Burress shoots himself in the thigh and gets sentenced to 2 years in prison. Donte Stallworth drives drunk and kills a man and spends 24 days in jail.
I’m sitting in the law library right now and classes don’t start for another two weeks. School hasn’t encroached on my summer this much since I was in 4th grade and had to write book reports.
Me? Critical? Never.
Female Friend: By the way, I think I'm scared of you.
Female Friend: I cant think of things that scare me much more than the idea of your scrutiny. I mean dying is up there, so are law school C's. But then there's your penetrating stare and its imperfection radar.
Things that suck:
Wearing boat shoes to the dirtiest undergrad bar at your school. Having a pizza place a block away from your house on the way home from said undergrad bar. Ok I lied this one is awesome.
Moving is Awesome
Especially when your hot water isn’t turned on yet so you have to take cold showers for 4 days.
Yesterday I drove 11 hours from my home state to the flyover state where l go to law school. Some thoughts: The Pennsylvania Department of Transportation is run by an idiot. On I-80, there were constant closures down to one lane, necessitating merges each time. The one-lane shutdown would last for about 5 miles, then open back up to two lanes. About 10 miles later, there would be another lane...
All You Can Fly? →
Holy shit I would be all over that if I wasn’t in school.
I believe that the moon does not exist. I believe that vampires are the...– Tracy Jordan
Interviews Are Fun: Redux
I had another interview today (last one this week, promise) and one of the attorneys kept on calling me normal. As in, “Jeez, you have pretty normal interests listed on your resume” and “You seem like a normal guy”. If I were, for instance, an MBA student, I’d probably have been offended by the connotations of averageness that come along with being normal. As a law...
Interviews Are Fun: Part Deux
One of the attorneys I interviewed with today had a neck tattoo. A NECK TATTOO. This is a guy who went to a good law school, clerked for a judge, and now works for one of the biggest firms in my home state. And he has a tattoo on his neck, a la Kenyon Martin. Sure, the execution is a little bit different, but it’s the same general principle. Badass.
Thanks for the Update!
I know you’re a really big Yankee fan and you live and die by the outcome of each and every one of their 162 regular season games. I understand. I’m sure you watch them all, not just the mid-August games against the Red Sox. I know you’re really proud of your team, especially since they just beat your own personal nemesis the Boston Red Sox. If I wanted to know who won the...
The Next Bernie Madoff
On my way home from the gym this morning, I saw a kid sitting at the end of his driveway at a folding table holding up a sign. I assumed he was selling lemonade, but as I got closer and could make out the writing, I saw that the sign said, in multi-colored marker: “Donate To My Charity” Genius. I’m going to guess that the charity was more along the lines of Help Timmy Get a...
Worst Fandouche Ever
I was at a bar in Yankee territory last night during the Sox/Yanks marathon game. Most of the people I was with were hanging out outside on a little patio, so I would go out to be social during commercials and go back inside to watch the game when it came on. When A-Rod hit his walkoff, the bar erupted like a frat party that caught a glimpse of a female nipple. A friend of a friend who was...
Interviews Are Fun
Me: I think your firm probably looks for long-term associate retention more than bigger firms.
80 Year-Old Founding Partner: We do. Except for women. Women work 2 or 3 years, then get married and have kids and we never see them again. It's unfortunate, but that's the way it is.
In the really-fucking-annoying-modifiers race, it’s a photo finish between “super” and “uber”.
Delonte West... →
high as balls in a KFC drive-through. NBA players live the life! Some bad language, so don’t click if you’re easily offended.
I Love Vampires
I was really enjoying the recent surge in vampire popularity lately. I’ve always been a big fan of vampire books (not so much movies, as I generally don’t like horror films…um, they’re scary). When I stumbled across True Blood during Christmas break and watched all 12 episodes in the span of 24 hours, I was excited to have found a visual depiction of vampires that relied...
holy bat shit crazy batman
benjaminml: I’m assuming everyone has heard about the Pittsburgh gunman (http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/08/05/pennsylvania.gym.shooting/) but apparently this dude (who worked at a big law firm. awesome) had an online diary: http://www.georgesodini.com/20090804.htm I’ve been reading this for a half hour now. It is fuuuucked up. I think that the fact that he hadn’t had a girlfriend in...
what the hell is the tumblarity?
benjaminml: Is it supposed to be portmanteau of tumblr and popularity? Or is this some sort of Ray Kurzweil singularity thing where if someone becomes so obsessed with tumblr that their posting becomes so frequent and efficient that it reaches perfect, exponential efficiency, sucks up all the resources of the internet, causes tumblr to become self-aware and launch a world-wide nuclear strike,...
End of America →
I just spent about an hour playing with this thing. Should be good for my insomia…
Love Me Some Taylor Swift
On my way home from the gym this morning I heard Taylor Swift’s latest single. Yeah, I listen to Top 40 radio in the car. Big whoop, wanna fight about it? Here’s part of the chorus: Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find That what you’re looking for has been here the whole time If you could see that I’m the one who understands you Been here all along, so why...
Awesome NY Moment of the Day
super-rad: Getting off of the subway and seeing Tracy Morgan, shirtless with a big gold chain, parked in a yellow Lamborghini, yelling at street vendors. This just goes to reaffirm my belief that he is not acting on 30 Rock. He just shows up and they film it. He’s either not acting anymore or he’s the best performance artist since Andy Kaufman. See, e.g....
35 y.o. Manager: You remind me a lot of a cool guy I knew when I was younger.
Me: Oh yeah? Why was he cool?
35 y.o. Manager: We all loved him. I met him when I was 20. He was 30 and he hooked up with all my friends.
Me: So by "cool guy" you meant "creepy old dude". Thanks.
There are a few simple rules that make everyone’s gym experience a lot more pleasant. My dad taught them to me when I was a teenager and I was first starting to work out. I realize not everyone has a gym-rat for a dad, so I thought I’d pass them along. It doesn’t matter how much you can put up or how long you’ve been going to the gym; if you’re not already doing...
Thanks Sports Guy
@sportsguy33: Second weird fact of the day: I got a 690 on my math SAT’s in high school and somehow thought 2 was twice as many as 0. I can’t believe Bill Simmons (the Sports Guy, if you don’t know) graduated from high school 15-20 years ago and still remembers what he got on the math section of his SATs. Though he apparently failed the apostrophe-usage part of the verbal...