How long does it take for sunless tanner to wear...
I look like an Oompa Loompa with liver disease.
Guido-in' ain't easy
I went to a Jersey Shore party last night and injured my elbow fist pumping.
A Bachelor's Effort To Understand Love →
I enjoyed this article, particularly: “Later, in one of several late-night phone calls when Mr. Bowe seemed less guarded…” Translation: “Why did my editors assign this story to a woman? The fucking creep wouldn’t stop drunk dialing me.”
Is there anything creepier than when a guy “Likes” a girl’s newly single Facebook status? I say no, and this is coming from a guy with a very high creepiness threshold.
Here's a Tip:
Don’t eat two corndogs, a bratwurst, a chicken fajita, curly fries, and a strawberry shortcake bar before a basketball game.
What has two thumbs and doesn’t want to hear someone’s depressing...– Awesome dude on Millionaire Matchmaker
I Love Law School
Roommate: god this sucks
me: what are you doin
Rommate: note work. what else
me: sounds fun. i'm gonna watch some television...enjoy
Roommate: I'm pretty insulted. Ive never seen you watch tv with fewer than 3 distractions and you need to dispose of me to watch
me: i'm going to use my sec reg book as one distraction and a nap as my other distraction
Bachelor Thoughts, Week 4
These women scream way too much for females who are not teenagers. Ella (about the road trip): “I’m a Tennessee chick, I’m a country girl, so this is like down home for me.” Yes Ella, we know that your hometown friends are impressed by your time in motor vehicles, but no one else is. Don’t motorcycles stop being badass at age 20 or so and just get kinda stupid? ...
Reche Caldwell eyes is freaking me out. Damn you, small classes conducted around a round table.
Philosophy of Law and Economics
This was supposed to be one of my easy classes. There are 3 Philsophy PhDs (one with Reche Caldwell eyes) and 1 Econ PhD out of 10 people. Can’t wait to sound like an idiot.
Found my summer sublet →
Rushing the Court
Me: I wouldn't have rushed there.
Paul: I think you definitely rush the court if its a close game in that situation. But it was kinda pointless once the game was over and we were in the Final Four last year...its not like we sucked. At least we're unranked in one poll, and they are #1. I like debating this topic, I want to write a rule book for it.
Me: It'd be a short book. I think you pretty much covered it.
I was at the gym today playing pickup and I saw a guy who had a tattoo of the AND 1 guy on his arm. For those of you who aren’t familiar with AND 1, it’s a basketball clothing brand characterized by a faceless, ripped dude and insulting phrases, like this: Between the ages of 10 and 14, I wore nothing but AND 1. I’m pretty sure this four year span of t-shirts, mesh shorts,...
Watching The Deep End
What firm hires only four first years and hires from Stanford, Columbia and…Case Western? No firm. Two minutes in and I really really hate it. Although I have to say I’m excited for all the office sex that apparently happens on a daily basis. Also excited to be a first year with 10 days of experience who probably hasn’t passed the bar but gets to be the primary contact with...
"The ultimate in fashionable clothing..." →
…if your breasts look like unripe cantaloupes that were cut in half and nail-gunned to your chest.
A recent email
“Subject: you must apply. Body: http://www.boybandsearch.com/ It could be huge. HUGE!” Sadly, I’m over the age limit. I was too young for the first boy band craze (I maintain that I would have easily made O-Town if I were four years older, that Hawaiian dude sucked) and I’m too old for the apparently forthcoming one. Talk about being born at an inopportune time.
Let's go Blaney! →
I was really surprised when Calhoun signed his five-year extension a few weeks ago. I thought this would be his last season, given the ridiculous amount of medical problems he’s had. I didn’t, however, think he’d quit halfway through the season after losing to an unranked team. Still, while the timing is a little suspect, I don’t doubt that he does actually have health...
Bachelor Thoughts, Week 3
Michelle: “I think of myself as very attractive, and Vienna - she’s totally opposite of who I am, as far as what I see on the outside.” There’s a 65% chance that Michelle draws blood from someone this season. 50% chance it’s from another girl, 80% chance it’s from Jake. Jake just called himself and Vienna “a couple”. Good to see that the women on...
At common law several categories of people were not allowed to testify at all,...– My Evidence book. Can’t trust those atheists!
Dear Michigan Fans,
We hope you enjoyed the highlight of your season. We’ll send you a postcard from the tournament in March. This is going to make September 4th that much sweeter. Love, UConn Fans P.S. - To the 80-year-old gentleman who chanted “OVER-RATED” at me as I left the stadium in my UConn t-shirt…well played. P.P.S. - Rushing the court when you beat a non-rival, 15th-ranked team...
Bachelor Thoughts, Week 2
Having 15 women shriek and clap every time you walk in the room would be really fun…for about a 8 seconds. “Usually I’m in like bridal magazines…” (translation: “I’m not a very successful model…”) Christina’s actually pretty funny…she’d be awesome if she wasn’t ugly. And wasn’t a sad drunk. “Gia, I have...
Highlights from yesterday's 10 hour drive
Anyone up for a mid-winter booze cruise? I also passed the little known Ivy League school, University of Pennsylvania - Slippery Rock Campus. I was also planning on picking up a few “adult” DVDs when I stopped for gas. Fortunately, the Brookville Citizens for Community Values made me think twice. Pornography pollutes the body, soul, AND mind. Plus, it makes little girls...
Do not be held a cheat, even though it is impossible to live today without being...– Baltasar Gracián
I eavesdropped on a blind date last night
and it was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. I was at Flex Mussels with a friend, sitting at the long counter you can see here. Right next to us there were two people who were pretty obviously on a blind date. The guy was wearing a purple v-neck sweater over a pink oxford. Solid chance he was colorblind. I’m pretty sure the choice of a v-neck was well thought out, as his black...
How does posting one’s bra color as a Facebook status do anything for breast cancer? Is it supposed to “increase awareness”? If it is, good job, because I definitely would not have been aware of breast cancer if not for all the “pink” “black” “tan” and “nothing!” status messages popping up on my news feed. Good work, ladies. ...
I'm "working" on my journal note
and doing a little research about Internet availability in the US. I came across a Census report on Internet usage, and found this little tidbit: “When looking at age groups, the percentage of 18 to 34-year-olds who accessed the Internet was more than double (73 percent)”… …27 percent of people 18-34 didn’t use the Internet ONCE in 2008? Seriously? Who are...
Take [prescription drug] at least 30 minutes before a meal. This medicine can be...– So, uh….which one?
Bachelor Thoughts, Week 1
I watch The Bachelor. I have since 2006, when I fell in love with Moana. Now that that’s out of the way, here we go. First, I liked Jake’s predominant choice of clothing so much that I’m going to start dressing like him. Excuse me while I take my shirt off. I’m a little surprised he didn’t show up for the rose ceremony shirtless. Cmon, ABC, guys watch this show...
Home Sweet Home
I went to my hometown gym this morning to begin to remedy the damage I did to my body over the last 5 days. The first person I saw when I walked into the weight room was a guy who was a senior when I was a freshman in high school and I hadn’t seen since he graduated. We’ll call him Pete. I generally don’t mind seeing kids from high school and catching up briefly...
Yesterday on the subway I was standing next to a guy with two teardrop tattoos. Though I generally question the judgment of anyone with tattoos on their face, he seemed like a pretty nice dude.
I never thought this could happen but…I hate Luke Wilson. Thanks AT&T.
The highlight of my night is dancing to Miley Cyrus with you and a midget. And...– A Friend, last night at 10:30PM