Thank you, Cary. In retrospect, I should have questioned the legitimacy of this article and website based on the poll next to the article: Hahah what? Is this a thing that people want? And where’s the second part of the question? You know, the part that says “and could the military handle the subsequent uprising of southern state militias?”
We're All Gonna Die And It's BP's Fault →
GODDAMNIT BP The warning signs of an impending planetary catastrophe—of such great magnitude that the human mind has difficulty grasping it-would be the appearance of large fissures or rifts splitting open the ocean floor, a rise in the elevation of the seabed, and the massive venting of methane and other gases into the surrounding water. Such occurrences can lead to the rupture of the methane...
There are a shitload of pictures on my Facebook newsfeed from Halloween parties this past weekend. THIS PAST WEEKEND. OVER A WEEK IN ADVANCE. Is Halloween like a college girl’s birthday now? People just celebrate whenever they want, as long as they want, with no regard to the date, as long as it’s in the calendar month of the actual event? IT’S MY HALLOWEEN MONTH, I’LL...
Things That Infuriate Me
Email signatures that read: Sean Smith JD Candidate, 2012 or JD Expected, 2012 University of Whatever Law School Fuck you. There is ABSOLUTELY ZERO reason for this to be in your email signature. It accomplishes NOTHING. If you’re emailing someone not for professional reasons, you look like a enormous douchebag. If you’re emailing someone for professional reasons, you...
Me: When will you be home for Thanksgiving?
Girlfriend: When is it? That friday?
Aggressive Email Update
My dad responded in the most reasonable way he could: do you know for a fact (as in you looked it up) that it is untrue, or are you as foolish as me and refuse to believe anything you don’t agree with? you’re better with the computer than i - how about trying to look it up and let me know what you found out. I wrote him back and explained the issue. (Or just copy-pasted the Snopes...
I Finally Did It
I hit “Reply All” on one of my Dad’s racist Anti-Muslim mass emails that he sends out to his friends and family and sent a response to everyone. “I hope you don’t believe everything you read. This is blatantly untrue and does nothing more than increase the already dangerous level of anti-Muslim sentiment in this country.” The email, by the way, said this: ...
Sam Harris For President
“We understand the stability of a single state. We need to engineer a similar degree of stability at the international level. There has to be a way to enforce international law. The question is how to do that, and how helpful is it that 1.5 billion Muslims and 2 billion Christians both think they have the perfect revelation of the creator of the universe, and that the world will end,...
Fall is what summer pretends to be, the best of seasons. Fall is as glorious as...– Gregg Easterbrook
Growing up, every artist’s rendering of futuristic societies I saw in Scientific American featured jumpsuit-esque clothing, Star-Trek-style: But the other night I was considering the direction of fashion - particularly women’s fashion, since men’s hasn’t really changed all that much in about 200 years. (I may have started thinking about this when an undergrad that one...
Dickipedia: Christopher Columbus →
Christopher Columbus (1451 – May 20, 1506) was an Italian navigator, explorer, accidental “discoverer” of America, and a dick. Happy Columbus Day!
What I think she could add to that even is to explain what the real witchcraft...– Sarah Palin She’s like conservative Mad Libs. Take a non-sensical sentence, throw some right wing buzzwords in there and you’ve got yourself a Sarah Palin quote.
On Thin Ice →
The world’s two great ice sheets are melting faster than anyone believed possible. Cliff notes version: we’re fucked.
Monday Night Football
Announcer: Ooh, he muffed that punt there.
Roommate 1: He muffed it?!
Roommate 2: He really cooched that punt.
Roommate 1 (sipping Macallan): I'm usually not a big Scotch guy.
Roommate 2: No, you're usually a little English guy.
Roommate 1: Are you into that girl from last weekend?
Roommate 2: Eh. I could go either way.
Roommate 1: Would you be interested in doing some more group activities tonight? ...That came out wrong.