Me: There was a protest at the BP on Broadway and Houston the other day.
Little Brother: Oh yeah? Did everyone drive there?
I’m getting fired tomorrow. Tonight, after a few drinks, the founding partner of the 300 attorney firm I work at walked up next to me to join the group I was in. I reached out and slapped him heartily on the back. Twice.
nein-brickistgut asked: Are you going to do a commentary/review of this season's the Bachelorette like you did for the Bachelor? I was a huge fan of that, it was hilarious. And it looks like this season is going to be pretty easy to make fun of.. (as always).
Friend: You should check out Cleveland. I've got a huge office to myself with a city view.
Me: What city do you have a view of?
Roger Ebert, FTW →
thejerkstore: You should read Roger Ebert’s review/smackdown of Sex and the City 2. He’s venerable. I hope I can be venerable one day.
People are so, so stupid →
This also serves as a friendly reminder to lock down your facebook profile; alternatively, don’t post dumb shit.
At The Gym
My roommate has decided that he wants to lift weights with me this summer and get in better shape. It's not the first time he's had this resolution, but he seems a little more determined this time. We were talking while working out yesterday morning.
Roommate: I should probably start eating more protein, huh?
Me (mid-deadlift): FUCK. I forgot my protein shake.
Roommate: Wow. That's the bro-iest thing I've ever heard.
Law Firm Etiquette
When you get home slightly (read: very) buzzed after happy hour and fire up Lexis for a couple searches…that’s billable, right?
It’s never a good sign when, while asleep the night after your second day of work, your dream includes you removing yourself from a party to borrow a laptop, sit in the corner, and check your email remotely.
First Day Update
Orientation meetings all day, bisected by a fancy lunch, then happy hour with some associates, then ran into an associate I met at lunch on the street and got a drink with him. Basically, I ate and drank on the firm all day. Here’s to hoping the rest of the summer will be exactly like that.
Remember that show on MTV, I Want A Famous Face? Today I saw a woman on the subway who went to her doctor with a similar request, but instead of a photo of Jennifer Aniston or Britney Spears, brought a picture of Neytiri. Same huge lips, same unnaturally protrusive cheekbones, same strong chin. But instead of being blue, she was spray-tan orange. I was rude. I stared. I couldn’t help...
Last night was the second time since I moved to the city that I’ve put into action my “No-No Policy”. That is, this summer I’m not saying no to anything that I can conceivably do. I have 12 weeks in NYC and they’re going to be good fucking weeks. Tuesday night I went to a Mets game, even though baseball is my fourth favorite major sport (basketball, football and...
newsweek: “We’re putting our brains into neutral, and revving the engine. We’re digitally dithering, clicking on links and swimming through a torrent of useless garbage being thrown at us by idiots and self-promoters, pundits and PR flacks and marketing people. We’re immersing ourselves in games like Farmville and Mafia Wars, obsessing about earning energy packs, spending billions of dollars on...
You know how in most TV shows set in New York City the main characters somehow have absurd apartments that they could never afford in real life? Yeah…
This is kind of an embarrassing question, but…where do we live?– My roommate, after walking up and down our street 4 times.
handstoyourself: Two weeks ago I was at my parents’ home in CT for a Thursday night before heading up to Tuckerman’s Ravine in NH to ski. At 12:30am, after I thought everyone else was very asleep, I came out of the back TV room (taking a break from a Law & Order SVU Marathon, I think). I saw my youngest brother with a screwdriver in hand, elbow deep into the cabinets. When I asked him what...
Now You're in New York
I just spent 33 dollars on 20 dollars worth of groceries. I guess being able to go to MoMA whenever I want is worth it though. Psyche I hate museums.
Anonymous asked: Are you looking forward to being admired at the gym in Chelsea?
Just hit a pullup 3 on a fast break with one eye swollen shut. I’m in awe. 8 points in 3 minutes playing as Cyclops. Incredible.
Vajazzling, The Newest Threat To Your College Son... →
thedeasydocket: Duh. Is this satire? I can’t tell. Which is the mark of good satire, I guess.
Just saw this on Facebook
I guess Charlie Crist is a Republican, so that statement is technically correct, but he’s a pretty moderate one. ”Obama is the opposite of the Governor of Florida” is kind of a weird political stance though.
thedeasydocket-deactivated20101 asked: Are you asking yourself questions anonymously to appear popular?
Anonymous asked: What are you most looking forward to while living in NYC, on your off time of course?
Yes we can
cagefree replied to your post: I have a pair of scrubs that I cut into shorts. Probably even more comfortable than sweatshorts. I recommend you try it. Can we manufacture these and sell them to the public? Absolutely. I also think there is a huge untapped market for classically styled medium-priced watches and and classically styled medium-priced footwear. I hope you have the startup capital.
I just played a game of Fifa 10 instead of working on my 8 hour take home, of which I now have 3.5 hours left. Whatever, it’s almost the World Cup. So…I need to make sure I know who all the players are, or something.
ansanborn-deactivated20100920-d asked: Catching up on old posts... saw one that claimed you may be into fashion. WTF is that bullshit? Did they not read your name: sweatshorts... as in yes, you actually sweatpants that are shorts.
Who pays for this?
On my drive home I passed the Recreational Vehicle/Motor Home Hall of Fame. How is that a thing that exists?
Anonymous asked: What do you put into your daily protein shake? Why?
Today, by the numbers
Miles driven: 860 Hours spent in car: 14 Insects who met their maker on my windshield: ~100 Miles of one-lane highway in Pennsylvania due to construction: 65 Miles I had to drive off the highway in Bumblefuck, Ohio to find a gas station: 10 Cop cars seen: 17 Speed traps successfully avoided: 13 Progress toward adulthood: 68% (ideal remaining 32%: summer associateship, get offer, 3L, pass...