According to ABC, during Bachelor Pad the contestants are cut off from all communication with the outside world. Except for their steroid dealers.
I know I said I wasn’t going to watch Bachelor Pad any more after their pro-bulimia episode, but I was sick of packing last night and I needed a break. The moment I flipped it on, I saw this: Um, guys…is this your first kiss? You can’t both go hands-on-face! That’s way too much hand in the face area! Your mouths can barely even reach each other! The hands-on-face...
Never Subletting Again
“A girl here has a pretty big infection on her arm but isn’t getting it treated, she’s just boiling rags on the stove and putting hot towels on it.” -Roommate
matt-t: Kanye ft Rick Ross, Jay-Z Nicki Minaj...
Talking To Myself
I just asked myself, out loud, “Is there anything I have to do today?” I paused for a second, then answered myself, again out loud, “Nope.” I think I might be getting bored.
People really do this?
The other day I stopped flipping channels on an episode of True Life about young newlyweds. One of the two couples featured had not only not slept with each other before their wedding, but had NEVER KISSED. Not only never kissed each other, but NEVER KISSED ANYONE. (Shocker, they’re southern.) (Mom, I recommend that you stop reading here.) (Seriously, stop. Or at least pretend like you...
cagefree: College Roommate 1: I got a D+ the first time I took accounting. Me: Yeah, because you would just go to class and read trashy romance novels. CR1: They were trashy mystery novels! College Roommate 2: And that was an early class! Why wouldn’t you just skip it if you weren’t going to pay attention. CR1: It wasn’t early. It was 11:00 to 12:15. We would always go to...
Life's Little Pleasures: #62
The shower beer.
Too Old For This Shit
I need to get over the “play through it” mentality that was beaten into me from the age of five. After an afternoon of barefoot soccer in Boston Common, I am the current proud owner of a: Broken toenail Quite possibly broken toe (different toe, same foot) Sprained foot (other foot) Cities that I’ve limped through this summer: 2. This is in addition the sprained hand that I...
Brother: You can use that new bar of soap I got if you want. It smells great. Just don't use it on your balls.
Me: Why not? Does it sting?
Brother: No, it's just my soap. I don't want it on your balls.
Me: I've been using that grey bar of soap on my balls since I got home.
Brother: That's my face soap.
The Innocence Project and Being Wrong →
Two of my roommates work at the Innocence Clinic at our school (though it’s slightly different because they work on only non-DNA cases), so I’ve become very aware of the sort of ridiculous injustice of which these innocent people are victims. This is a really interesting interview with one of the founders of the nationwide Innocence Project. It’s long. You should read it all.
Brett Favre makes me wish ESPN had never been...
I cleaned out my room at home this weekend, and I stumbled on a pair of near-deadstock Iverson Answer Is (that’s “ones”, not “is”) in Patent Blue. I had a pair of these beauties in the White/Red colorway in seventh grade, and they’re among my favorite basketball shoes ever. The DMX shit actually worked, until the pods popped. This brought to mind the pair...
Bachelor Pad Thoughts, Week 2
Are they going to film the girls purging the pies after the competition? Well, that answers my question. Aaaaaaaaaaaand I’m done with this show.
And all that stuff about loose, passionate gypsy girls that they have in stories...– Joseph Mitchell, King of the Gypsies, The New Yorker, August 15, 1942, at 24, quoting Detective John J. Sheehan
They better not build a church anywhere near where Timothy McVeigh bombed...– Rainn Wilson (via soupsoup) This is such a specious argument. McVeigh wasn’t a practicing Christian when he carried out his attack, nor did he do it in the name of Christianity. (Not that I agree with any of the arguments against building the “ground zero” “mosque”...
Hair Color Update
Now that my job is over, I gave myself my customary summer buzzcut. I almost wish I hadn’t. My short hair made it clear that I have officially moved from having “a few gray hairs” to “going gray”. I’m 25.
Sitting in bed eating a bowl of Blueberries and Cream ice cream from a fantastic local creamery while drinking a glass of Moscato d’Asti. I’ve turned into a 34 year old woman with two cats who just got dumped, and it’s AWESOME.
What's the difference between an engagement party,...
After answering that, please tell me, in a two part answer: Why they’re all necessary. How our wedding culture became so fucked up. Thanks in advance.
Summer by numbers
Weeks spent in New York City: 12 Days spent at home, so far: 3 Pounds gained in NYC: 7 Pounds lost at home: 4 Hours of basketball played in NYC: 0 Hours of basketball played at home: ~2 Books read in NYC: 1 Books read at home: Two complete, one in progress Average trips to gym/day in NYC: .5 Average trips to gym/day at home: 1.3 Most days gone without an alcoholic beverage in NYC: 2 ...
Bachelor Pad, Week 1
Expectations: Guardedly high. Thoughts: Since I only watch The Bachelor, I’m only going to know the women and I won’t know any of the men. So it’s going to be a lot like my actual life. Intro montage: Pumped for the first network television foray into porn. I’m glad Chris “I tried to cheat on my wife with Rozlyn” Harrison is back. Wonder if she’ll be...
Co-Worker: You have to order the Foie Gras Brulee.
Me: That sounds ridiculous. How rich is it?
Co-Worker: Richer than Scrooge McDuck.
How my attitude has changed
First assignment: Dear ________ and _________, I just received your assignment. Please let me know when would be best to meet with you to discuss the specifics, and in whose office we should meet. I look forward to working with both of you. Sincerely, ____ Last assignment: _______, Let me know when you’d like me to come by.