I’ve had multiple partners comment on how tan I am…some of my...– 2L friend who is currently making rounds on the law-firm interview circuit
If 9/11 happens there again, I want to be the first to die. Muslims want to...– Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf
My girlfriend and I are currently engaged in a disagreement. She bought me an expensive lens for my camera for my birthday, and I want to buy her a similarly expensive gift for her upcoming birthday. (The gift I want to buy her is awesome and she would love it.) She claims that she absolutely does not want a similarly expensive gift, and she’s not one of those annoying girls who says shit...
I Call It Prudent
Last night I dreamed (dreamt? dreamted? dreamded?) that I won $55,000 playing blackjack. (I’m not sure what I was doing playing $1000 hands, I think I was playing with someone else’s money?) After I cashed out, I said to a companion, “That’s enough money to pay for my last year of law school!” Even in my dreams I’m boring and responsible.
Girl 1: Is peanut butter a carb?
Girl 2: No, I don't think so.
Girl 1: That means I can eat as much of it as I want, right?
Girl 2: Yep.
Anonymous asked: KFM: JT, Nick Cater, the gay dude from NSYNC. Go.
iopenmymouth asked: And your dislike of rompers/jumpers on a woman has nothing to do with the fact that its a bit more complicated to take off her than a dress/skirt/pants/shorts?
Anonymous asked: Do overalls fall into the "rompers/onesies/jumpers" category? Have you ever worn overalls?
Pop Your Pockets
Anonymous asked: “This morning, when I was brushing my teeth, I (rather inexplicably) remembered about the Pop Your Pockets movement (circa 2004). Would you mind talking a little about the rise and fall of this ideology?” Would I mind? I’ve been waiting for this question since I started my blog! The Pop Your Pockets movement was a lot like Amy Winehouse: it burned hot and fast...
Me: Shut up, I listen to a lot of manly bands.
Roommate: Like what?
3L in a Nutshell
Girlfriend: What class were you in?
Me: FDA Law. Drug approval and stuff.
Girlfriend: Do you get tested on that for the bar?
Girlfriend: Why are you taking it then?
Me: I have no idea.
Some people say modesty is a virtue. I say those people have nothing to be...– Roommate
Tom Brady Involved in a Car Accident →
I was kind of hoping he sustained a minor head cut so doctors would have to shave his head and get rid of the Bieber thing he’s got going. No such luck. Gross.
Excuse Me? Ms. Palin?
From her Facebook note posted today: “People have a constitutional right to burn a Koran if they want to, but doing so is insensitive and an unnecessary provocation – much like building a mosque at Ground Zero.” One sentence later: ”It will feed the fire of caustic rhetoric and appear as nothing more than mean-spirited religious intolerance.” First, thank you for...
On Adolescent Love and Honesty
I went to an all-boys private school a half hour from my town for middle school, then to my town’s public high school. As a result, not only did I not fit into any of the high school cliques, but I didn’t know shit about how to interact with girls. In other words, I was really cool. Fortunately, my first girlfriend also taught me my first lesson about girls. About a month into...
Last First Day of School Ever
Until I quit lawyering after 8 months and become a gym teacher.
Me: You done with that cookie?
College Roommate: Yeah, you want some?
Me: Nah, I don't think you're really done.
College Roommate: I'm not I was just testing you.
I finally met my 19 year old cousin’s 3 month old baby this weekend. Not going to lie, he’s pretty adorable. And his dad just got out of jail, so everything’s cool now. She’s not to be confused by my cousin on the other side who had her first child at 16. Her husband isn’t out of jail yet. Soon though!