“Your father might be coming tonight.” That settled two things. Since my parents filed for divorce a few weeks ago, I was wondering if what I’d seen about divorce on TV and in movies was accurate. (Not the parents-trying-to-outdo-each-other-in-competing-for-affection thing. I’m too old for that. Sadly.) One of the first signs a marriage was really over, according to pop...
The Internet Never Ceases to Amaze Me
I got home from my basketball game last night around 10:45. I was hoping to grab some Chipotle on my way back to my apartment, but it closed at 10. Apparently Steve Ells has never heard of that whole “City That Never Sleeps” thing. Maybe if he spent less time saying sentences that start with “Back when I was starting Chipotle…” he’d be more in tune with the...
High School Memories
Remember how there was a dance circle at every high school dance? And in that dance circle, the kids who could breakdance would do so and everyone would go nuts, even though you probably went to a suburban high school and they weren’t really that good? And then there was that kinda chubby white kid in your class who thought he was hilarious, and he would jump into the circle and flop...
Ooooh, don’t you look handsome today.– The toothless old lady in my building that I see at 9 o’clock most mornings drinking a beer in the hallway. So I have that going for me.
Fall is what summer pretends to be, the best of seasons. Fall is as glorious as...– Gregg Easterbrook
I passed the bar.
Dating With Dummies
Her: So, like, what religion are you?
Me: I was raised Catholic, but I'm an atheist now.
Her: What is that again?
Me: It means I believe that god doesn't exist.
Her: Oh right. So, like, what sort of traditions and stuff do you have?
Me: What do you mean?
Her: You know, like, how do you practice that?
Me: ...You don't know what atheism is, do you?