My Life in Short Pants

My favorite restaurant is still Upstate Beer and Oyster Bar.  I’m pretty easy to please; give me fresh seafood and good beer and I’m a very happy man.  Other places I’ve enjoyed include:

• Motorino
• Acme
• Traif
• Roman’s
• Masten Lake
• Yakitori Totto
• Osteria Morini
• Paprika
• Casellula
• Il Passatore
• That place in the East Village that does two hours of unlimited sushi/sake/beer, because you have to be a Republican to not enjoy that

This is by no means a definitive list, since there are still a TON of places that I want to get to that I haven’t been able to yet.  Speaking of which, my least favorite thing about New York by far is how you have to make reservations for popular places at 9am a full month in advance.  Ridiculous.

I don’t really have any favorite bars.  I kinda just wander around downtown every weekend.  I will say that I’m sort of over the fancy cocktail scene.  Sure, they taste good, but they’re expensive as hell and I have never once gotten drunk off them.  You know what else tastes good and doesn’t get me drunk?  Orange juice, but you don’t see me paying $15 for one of those annoying little cocktail glasses full of OJ, do you?

If a woman of average height “needs to gain 15 pounds”, then she’s on the verge of starving to death.  If she could “stand to lose 15 pounds”, she’s just a little curvy.

I’m not into girls whose ribs I can see.  Getting poked by hips isn’t fun.

I’d take the one who could stand to lose 15, no question.

I’m 6 feet short.  How short do I look?

Sorta.

I didn’t watch a whole lot of sports growing up.  I like to say that I preferred playing sports to watching them when I was a kid.  I spent hours every day working on my jumper in my driveway.  That, combined with my Mom’s strict TV rationing, didn’t leave a lot of time to become a fan.

Plus, my Dad wasn’t really into watching sports, so I didn’t really develop any allegiances.  If anything I was a Michael Jordan fan.  But what 8-15 year old wasn’t?

When I got to college, my roommate was a huge Boston sports fan.  Since my time in college coincided nicely with the Patriots’ run of Super Bowl wins, I became a Pats “fan”.  I root for the Patriots more than any other football team, which isn’t saying a whole lot.  There were a couple times this year that I went to bed instead of watching the end of a Pats game.

Also, one of my best skills is pretending I don’t care about sports when the team I’m rooting for loses.  My holier-than-thou refrain, which I highly recommend you try sometime if you want everyone within earshot to instantly hate you: “I don’t tie my self worth to the success or failure of an organization that I have absolutely no ties to.”